Wingmen

Work ethic isn’t just about tackling the big game or being the best you can be in the athletic or business arena.  Developing a work ethic is also crucial to our relationships as human beings.  First and foremost, we have to remember that relationships aren’t about us as individuals.  They’re always about the other person or entity, such as your wife in your marriage, the customers in your business, or God himself.  In every relationship in your life, remember this simple truth:  It’s not about you.
When I flew missions, either in training or in combat, I made a point of seeking to overcome my sense of isolation.  I worked at developing a rapport with my wingmen outside of the cockpit.  We worked out together, or hit the officers’ club at the end of a long day.  We talked, we shared.  We had to build bonds so that we could trust the same individuals we would be going into battle with.  The relationships we forged with one another were based on a core principle:  in combat, we had to be willing to give our lives for each other.
In civilian life, it’s not often that we’re called upon to risk our lives for another human being.  But the concept is still the same.  In Christian terms, it’s what’s known as “dying to self.”  It’s giving of yourself to the other person to the point where your own happiness becomes secondary.  Any relationship that you value needs to be given this focus—and you must have faith that it’s mutual.  If the giving and taking are not mutual, then you have to ask yourself if the relationship truly is of value to you.  Unfortunately, recognizing an unbalanced relationship is one of the most difficult of life’s challenges—second only to acknowledging it.  Is there anything worse than the realization that a friend, spouse, or loved one does not care about you as you do for him?
But if the feelings and the desire to make the relationship work are mutual, the feeling can be one of elation.  And believe me:  it doesn’t happen overnight.  Here’s where the “work” part of “work ethic” comes into play.  The relationships in your life will only give back to you what you put into them.  The going will often be hard, and sometimes it may seem like you’ll never make it.  Yet if you call upon your well of patience, the rewards will definitely be worth it.